Yep, it’s official I got lost on my way to yesterday’s event at Matching.  I’d printed off the direction off the Internet. Now usually they’re quite good and everything was going well till we hit the village of Moreton. That’s when it all went wrong. Yes, it’s all very well the printed directions telling you to turn left into such and such lane and then right into somewhere else lane. Thing is when you drive down the lanes, there are no lane names so how the hell are you supposed to know where you are!!

Now, my daughter LJ accompanies me as she is part of the business, but she is really ditzy.  She admits she is useless at following directions and map reading. When she was in the Scouts, they wouldn’t give her the map reading badge as she used the compasss the wrong way round and held the map upside down!  I ask you.  So we stopped in a tiny hamlet of about 6 houses got the map out and got our bearings.  Once I found out where we were on the map then I managed to plot a new route.  Now we’ve already established that LJ is a lousy navigator so I had to stop a couple more times to ensure we were heading in the right direction.  I must admit at one point I did have Talking Head’s song “We’re On The Road To Nowhere” buzzing through my head, but once I saw a signpost to Matching Green I knew we were on the right track. Lucky one of us is good at reading maps.

Meanwhile, of course, time is getting on so I ask LJ to ring Clare, the organiser, to let her know that we will probably be late but that we will be there.  Well, could she get a signal on the mobile?  Nope, no way.  In the meantime Clare is trying to call me and just getting voicemail. Anyway, we finally get there about 20 mins before the craft fair is due to start.  Good thing it only takes us about 15-20 mins to set up.  We just finished when the first wave of people came through the door. Then my mobile rang, a signal finally.  Well, it was Clare’s voicemail message.  I could barely hear it, the reception was so poor.

So, was it worth the aggro?  Well, yes as  I did make enough in sales to cover my table cost and petrol and I got some business cards out.  Will I be getting a Sat Nav?  Well, to be honest I would only use it to get to rural villages like Matching and if it uses the same sort of signalling as a mobile phone then it’s pretty useless.  So I think I’ll just ensure I have my trusty map of Essex with me at all times.  It’s never failed me yet – we always get there eventually, if a little late.

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